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Lessons from Twitter

confidence
/ˈkɒnfɪd(ə)ns/
noun
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
_
self-esteem
/ˌsɛlfɛˈstiːm/
noun
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
_

Recently I had started setting up various social media accounts. When signing up for a Twitter account, one of the steps was to Describe yourself, to which the subheading text stated: "What makes you special? Don't think too hard, just have fun with it." 

This instruction comprises three parts. Let's break it down.


(1) Just have fun with it
fun
/fʌn/
noun
enjoyment, amusement, or light-hearted pleasure.
"the children were having fun in the play area"
_

I think most people realise it in their hearts, but the journey of growing up has shrouded this understanding in the shadows of professionalism till they are no longer able to relate to that which they had used to, and that is that:

Fun can be an end in itself.

It is often perceived that doing something must produce a tangible result for it to be worth doing, but I don't think that's necessarily the case, and perhaps it'll be nice if more people were aware of that. I think that wanting to do something that is fun is reason enough to do it, if it doesn't bring harm to the self or others. Not every endeavour has to be productive; it's fine if some are not.

The pursuit of enjoyment is justified as long as the opportunity cost of the endeavour is considered and accounted for.

Conclusion: Fun can be an end in itself and not merely the byproduct of the means to an end.


(2) What makes you special?
mediocre
/ˌmiːdɪˈəʊkə/
adjective
of only average quality; not very good.
"he is an enthusiastic if mediocre painter"
_

On many occasions I have fretted about being nothing more than average and worry that I don't stand out. This has led me to do arguably stupid things in the past. In fact, I think the setting up of this blog in the first place might actually be a manifestation of this fear.

For a significant period of time before, I was actively considering how my abilities and USPs stack up against other people. I then entered a state of exasperation constantly comparing myself to other people better than I. When I look around, it just seems like everyone else either can play the guitar or competitive sport or write music or draw or excel in the mathematics and sciences or are truly invested into service learning, and I am often concerned that no matter what metric I choose, I may never stand out.

I don't think this fear of mediocrity is unique to myself. Instead, I think that this fear is in fact instilled in us. One such manifestation of the emphasis on the importance of being special is in the Direct School Admissions (DSA) scheme where it is evident and clear as day that people with special abilities get special treatment (I do believe that if one works hard on something and with enough luck, it'll pay off in the end in some way - it just seems that currently the things that I am willing to work hard for are not the things that are important in the paradigm I'm currently operating within).

Recently I had contended with the argument that it's okay to be average because plotted on a normal distribution, the people with "special" and "ultra" abilities are on the extreme ends of the bell curve and most of the population is concentrated in the middle being mediocre.

However, this interpretation of the situation fails to consider that people are multifaceted and have multiple abilities and specialisations that are incommensurable across disciplines. This means that a person being hopeless at A but excel at B cannot be said to be better or worse than another who excels at A but is hopeless at B, ceteris paribus.

Moreover, there is always less competition at the top.

Conclusion: Being special is important.


(3) Don't think too hard
narcissism
/ˈnɑːsɪsɪz(ə)m,nɑːˈsɪsɪz(ə)m/
noun
excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

In Psychology
selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
_

In the end, I thought too hard about it and left the field blank.

As opposed to laissez-faire social situations such as parties, where the individual controls the interactions that they wish to partake in, controlled social settings are events where the mode of interaction is formalised - where different people assume designated roles, such as being an audience member or keynote speaker at a closed-door seminar. I'd always thought of myself to be rather confident in controlled social settings. On most days, I'd gladly wield the mic in front of a live audience to verbalise snippets of underdeveloped mental musings, having done this a few times before.

My inability to accurately gauge social situations due to lack of prerequisite social skills also has caused much discomfort, awkwardness, and has proved ruinous to my interpersonal relationships.

Conclusion: You're only special to those who are special to you, so don't think too hard about yourself in social situations, for you are rarely the centre of attention.

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