Since we all have a finite amount of time to spend, we must make choices because of the problem of scarcity, where there are only such limited resources to fulfill unlimited wants.
An opportunity cost is incurred when the decision is made, which is the value of the next best alternative forwent. We internalise this cost as the sense of loss that we feel when we must choose between doing two things that cannot happen at the same time and cannot be rescheduled or postponed (the "what a pity" sentiment to forgo the other thing).
I posit that, in our lives, we must choose how we allocate our time, attention and energy across three primary classes of relationship: our relationship with other people; our relationship with ourselves and; our relationship with our work.
Our relationships with other people refer to that with our friends and family, people whom we care about, or our service to the community and others. People who genuinely find fulfillment in serving others may see an overlap between their relationship with others and that with themselves, since their acts of service also provide for purpose and meaning in their lives.
You might have, in your personal experience and observations, come to know of people who possess astonishing and phenomenal levels of personal drive and motivation, who might even be branded as "workaholics" by their colleagues, sometimes even sacrificing their personal well-being to get work done. These people can be said to prioritise their relationship with work.
Under this model, "work" comprises any activity or external obligation and commitment that one might not otherwise do for its own sake. Other activities that we do that we enjoy would also instead contribute to personal fulfillment, and be classified as improving the relationship with ourselves, hence the platitude: "Make a career from what you love doing and you'll never work a day of your life".
Work is important not only because of the positive impact that our work has on the people that directly or indirectly benefit from it, but also typically serves as a means of improving our own quality of life through this "I-trade-my-time-for-money" economy.
Reconciling this would better help us identify our habits and recalibrate them according to our priorities.
Throughout school and my brief life experiences thus far, I observe that it is usually not possible for one to adequately attain all three relationships. Students who score exceedingly well might have to compromise on sleep (self) or a social life (others). Those who enjoy the constant company of friends and seek thrilling experiences might compromise on studying (work) or rest (self). Some who are passionate about their CCA (self) might similarly have to make compromises in revision (work) or social involvement (others).
Even friends who are excellent academics (work), have a regular sleep schedule (self) and seem approachable (others) cannot be said to have adequately attained all three aspects, for the limitations of a finite amount of attention and energy describe that there must be some compromise, albeit not immediately apparently. In my experience, it is most common that you may seek such friends for advice, but be unable to feel an emotional connection with them, possibly because they always seem so busy with their "priorities" of work and you might not feel like they care about you, as much as they care about most effectively solving your presented problem.
These three relationships thus exist as a trilemma, where the simultaneous and complete attainment of all three aspects is impossible (or very highly improbable or unlikely).
However, I believe that they can be partially attained, at exponential opportunity costs. I further posit the following visualisation:
Notice that the higher we may wish to build a sand hill, the more sand we require at the base. This represents decreasing marginal returns per grain of sand, and an increasing cost since the allocation of sand to one Corner must take away from another Corner (I personally believe that the pursuit of excellence in work should not come at the large expense of seeking relationships with other people or taking care of oneself, though your priorities may vary). Extroverts, or introverts in the company of close friends, may be considered under this model to be attaining the categories of not only "other" but also the "self", if they genuinely feel comfortable, restored, rejuvenated or at ease in that situation. This may apply similarly to "work" and "self" in the pursuit of any endeavour in which the individual feels an overwhelming sense of purpose or personal fulfillment.
Understanding this can enable us to make better decisions with our time, by re-evaluating if we are pursuing our relationships in a balanced manner commensurate with how much we value them, and the priorities of our current stage of life.
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